Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I don't make plans

I don't generally have a plan for my life. I like having a plan if I am going shopping, because I don't really LIKE shopping, so I need to have a reason to go, and not just wander aimlessly through the mall which makes me want to stick a sharp object in my eye. But I find that if I try to plan my long term goals or maybe even shortterm goals like what to make for dinner, those things never happen. I planned on making meatballs for dinner last night, but the meat was still frozen, and making meatballs with frozen meat SUCKS, so I made meat sauce instead. I planned on writing a blog entry both of the last two days, and well, that didn't happen. I started two different entries, and then stopped. I got distracted, or felt uninspired.

But then I was reading Sarcastic Mom's blog, who is now featured to the left along with the others, and she had a guest blogger, Avitable. Who is also now featured off to the left. I tend to read "Mommy blogs" who focus on talking about raising their kids etc. but every so often find one that is a non-mommy blog, often written by a guy. Avitable qualifies as one of those guy non-mommy bloggers. And I have to say he just makes me laugh. And then I felt inspired.

He lives in Florida, and I have had some experience living there. He seems to like it. I hated it. That isn't even the right word for it, hate. My soul sort of died while I was there (Mom - this was no fault of yours, do NOT feel guilty. It was just Florida). I was constantly confused about which direction was north or south, even when standing facing the Atlantic ocean. It was like my personal magnetic force was being screwed with. My compass was completely shot. The day I got on an airplane to go back to grad school in Ohio, and landed where the trees had LEAVES and not fronds, where those leaves turned fabulous colors, gold, red, and yellow in the fall and snow fell in the winter, that day was such a joyous and miraculous day. I didn't even care that I arrived not knowing where I would be sleeping that night (on the floor of my brother's dorm room) or where I would live after that (in a freshman women's dorm, renting a room from a resident director). It all worked out in the end. I couldn't have planned that if I tried. My original plan to go to school the previous January had been delayed by the lack of finances. Two weeks before getting on that plane in late August the man who was to be my advisor called and inquired if I was still interested in attending, as I could have a paid graduate assistant position in the financial aid office and a full tuition scholarship. That made it possible for me to leave that soul-less place called Florida and find my calling in life.

I find if I am open to the opportunities the universe is going to offer, and it DOES offer them, then I manage to work my way through life pretty successfully. I still have to be responsible in my actions along the way, and I have to be willing to do the work once the opportunity is presented. But I couldn't plan most of what has happened in my life and have it turn out the way it has. I certainly didn't know when I decided to go on that it would lead to the Bob and then Cooper. But now that they are part of my life, I work very hard to make that life work. Accepting your karma often means accepting the work and responsibility that goes with whatever it brings into your life. Conversely, fighting your karma can lead to being somewhat miserable. But that is a discussion for another day.

Anyway, thanks to Avitable for making me laugh and for providing some food for thought and some inspiration. Now I am going to stop avoiding my responsibility here at the office and go earn my paycheck.


Dproudmama said...

Ha! Mom never entertained the idea your Florida experience was her fault!! She felt the same way as you recall. The north/south thing was crazy. But, we dealt with it and good things came of it all. And in the end we were able to leave!!! Onward with it all.

Oz said...

I hated Florida, too. Lived in a swamp. Bugs the size of my head. Alligators. I needed snow and mountains and air that didn't sit heavily on my skin.