Monday, January 11, 2010

What would you say...

This past weekend a bunch of the neighborhood moms and their spouses were going to get together for a dinner out to celebrate one of the families moving to a new house. Since this summer we have had three such events occur. One family relocated out of the state, and that was a big deal, so the dinner was an out on the town event. The next one just relocated to the next town over, so it wasn't like we were not going to ever see them again, in fact they host a new years open house every year and did it again this year. That time we had a BBQ/potluck gathering at one of our houses. It was lovely.

This time the family that moved also only relocated to another town nearby. Chances are we will see them again, but someone suggested another night out on the town. We originally said sure we would go, but then last week, after reviewing our financial situation, I suggested to The Bob that we forgo attending because between a babysitter and dinner for two at this particular restaurant we would spend well over $100, closer to $150 and quite frankly, we had other things we could spend that on that we NEEDED. He agreed, although he is always up for doing something and was looking forward to being out for dinner without our child.

So I emailed the mom who was organizing the evening, and told her the truth. I said that because Bob was essentially still unemployed although working hard not to be, we were continuing to tighten our belts and cutting expenses and because the night out would involve a babysitter etc. etc. we were opting out of going. Hope to see everyone soon otherwise.

And then I was deafened by the absolute silence. No response. No "Oh, okay, too bad, you'll be missed" or "So sorry to hear that, catch you soon" or "Totally understand, no worries". NOTHING.

I am pretty sure that I would have responded with SOMETHING if the tables had been turned. Maybe she just isn't good at sympathy. Or she doesn't like me, which is entirely possible. We don't really click. Which is fine. I don't dislike her, I just don't feel a huge bond. But I do think I still would have said "No problem, see you around".

People continue to puzzle me regularly.


Oz said...

Another option: maybe she just forgot to reply. I found an email just last week that I thought I'd replied to but, in fact, I'd typed the message and never hit send.
Who knows?

Wenderina said...

Oh the things we can read into that unreplied email, the unreturned call, the lack of a thank you card after a gift is sent (yes, well, that last one is just rude...but usually it is not evil intentions). I agree with Oz - who knows?

Susan said...

Having been unemployed and really struggling for almost a year, I can completely relate to your feelings. People do act rudely around these issues. Partly because some people stigmatize unemployment (as being our fault) and partly out of fear, I think. They don't know what to say.

Hang in there. Best of luck to your husband.

Laura said...

or you could go with the Carla M. solution for life....eff em! I use that one regularly at this point!