Thursday, September 18, 2008

To Party or Not to Party, that is the question

I am not talking about the election. I am not even going to go there in this forum. More than enough people have more than enough to say on that count, and frankly, whoever reads this blog doesn't really care about my political leanings one way or the other.

I will say that it is not unusual to pay $350 for a pair of glasses though. Everyone is making a big deal about Palin's glasses being "so expensive". Maybe in Alaska that is expensive, but not in Boston. You can get those at Lens Crafters for heaven's sake. But don't mistake my comments for support for her political positions. I am not talking about that. I am not going to talk about how the economy is in the crapper, the environment is taking hit after hit and filling the oil tank for my house makes me cry. Or about the fact that I have no confidence that our political system will solve any of these problems regardless of who gets into office because of special interests and personal agendas getting in the way of what is good for the people. NOT talking about it.

Anyway, the question of the day is whether we should plan a party for Cooper's 2nd birthday. We did not do anything big for his first. His grandparents were all in town and we had cupcakes and presents. That is it. He didn't know what was going on, although he loves a good baloon, so the big bunch we bought did make him happy.

He won't understand the concept of "birthday" this time either, but he would enjoy a gathering of toddlers and cake. Who doesn't? Love cake that is. Since his birthday is in November, an outdoor gathering is probably a no go, although I think the local ogranic farm, Drumlin Farm, where we go to see animals does birthday parties all year round. That might be fun. Who to invite would be the next concern. I am aware that there have been several birthday celebrations in the last year for our 3 year old friends that Cooper was not invited to. Despite the fact that other kids in his age range were, he wasn't. I am not sure if it is because they thought he was too young to be invited, or because he and the birthday child aren't close friends. I don't think I should decide who to invite or not invite based on whether we have been invited to their parties. Admittedly it was weird not to be invited to a sprinkler party for our twin neighbors' birthday last month, since we were right there, in our back yard when the other people began arriving and I realized hey they are having a party. And hey, Coop wasn't invited.

This whole line of thought brings me smack up against one of the things I hate about being human. That awful feeling you get when you realize that you have been left out. Whether purposely or as an oversight, you didn't get invited to _____. With people you would normally hang out with. I am 44 years old and still manage to feel crappy when this happens. I am generally a pretty self contained, self confident person who doesn't look too often outside of myself for ego strokes. I have friends, and I think on the whole I am likeable even if at times I should use that filter in my brain a bit more. Who isn't guilty of that. But when I realize that something has gone down and I wasn't included, I stop and wonder why. And feel momentarily at least, crappy. And now I get to worry about it for Cooper.

So my thought is I am going to invite everyone. No one gets left out. If they can't come, or choose not to, fine. But they get invited. When Cooper is old enough to make these choices himself, then we can talk about who he wants to include and why. We might have to still invite someone he wouldn't normally think to invite, because there will be that kid that gets left out and shouldn't, and I want my kid to be kind to those kids. Did you follow that?

I guess we will have a party! We might end up with 20 kids or 2, who knows. If anyone reading this has any suggestions about where one can host a party for toddlers, in November, please leave a comment!


Guido Magoo said...

I didn't know this was open for discussion. I vote we invite no one and keep all of the cake for ourselves.

mkosboth said...

Bad Bob.

Oz said...

I have no insight on who to invite or who not to invite, but I have sort of gone the "invite everyone" route. And now instead of wondering if I've left people out I'm wondering if the neighbor down the street who has an 8 month old and who I don't really know thinks I'm a nut for inviting her. Yeah, I'm thinking about it way too much.

We have some indoor kid gyms/bouncy places around here that host birthday parties, and that don't seem as bad as Chuck E. Cheese. I'd imagine they're in most urban areas.