Monday, November 17, 2008

Highs and lows

Well, the good news is that Cooper does NOT have lead poisoning. The second test came back at less than 2, which is super duper low. The Bob wants to know if that means the original test was bad, or that there was a clerical error. Whichever it is, the second test is OK by me.

The bad news is that my friend Dave is dying. He was my neighbor when I lived in my last house. He and his partner, Jim, are, as I have said before, like family. Dave has been fighting cancer, and was doing really well until his body began giving out because of infections caused by the lack of immune system after the chemo treatments. Last week Jim took him to the hospital because he couldn't get out of bed and was very confused. Since then it has been down hill. They have stopped all treatment and have put him on comfort treatment only, and they don't expect him to last more than a few days.

I had my doubts when he started having problems with infections. He is over 60 and diabetic, things that don't work in your favor when fighting a disease like cancer. Now he is losing the battle. And I am sad. Sad for what will be a loss in my life, but more for the loss in Jim's life. These two have been together for over 10 years, and had gotten married almost 4 years ago. When I asked Jim what happens next, he just couldn't answer. I meant right after Dave passed, what would happen - a service, a gathering? But Jim took it further, meaning he didn't know what he would do. What would life hold. He can't imagine life without Dave.

These guys have been such good friends to me. They were there when I moved in with the ex, befriended the guy that was my tenant (I owned a two family home at the time) and was there for me when I got divorced. They were there to pass judgement on my new guy, The Bob and deem him worthy. Dave was in charge of walking my dog, Gus, when I first got him. He would clear my driveway when he got the snowblower going. He made pear pie with the pears from the tree I planted in the back yard, and peach pie from the tree I planted just before I decided to sell that house. He was very put out when we decided to move, but they were there for us when the Bob and I got married, even giving us the gift of the JP for the service.

Dave has always been this force of nature, a larger than life guy who knew everything about everyone in the neighborhood. He knew all about my house, about the first family that ever lived in it, since he grew up next door. He hadn't been in the house in almost 20 years since he didn't get along with the woman my ex and I bought the house from, and was thrilled the first time I invited him in, so he could see how it had changed since the days when Margaret had lived there. She was the old lady whose family had built the house, and she was born in it and died in it. She was probably the one haunting my basement there.

I am trying not to be too sad about losing him until he is gone. I want to be there for both of them, and be as positive as I can for Jim. But wow does this suck.

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