Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Happy Anniversary


I know that we just witnessed history, history I would like to think I participated in bringing about with my one vote and my one voice. I am very happy with the results of yesterdays' elections, both nationally and locally. I have more to say on this topic but I have, quite seriously, more important things to say today.

Today is my 3 year anniversary in marriage to The Bob. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! We met in April, 2003 through Match.com. Yes, I met my husband ONLINE. And I don't care who knows it. I had separated from the ex in June 2002 and spent 8 months flying solo and being happy to be alone, living in the quiet of my house with the two cats. But at some point in March I decided I was ready for a date. Ready to sit at dinner feeling girly and attractive and enjoying, hopefully, the company of a dude. That is all I wanted. A date. But how to find a dude for a date. Even in the Boston area, this is not as easy as you might think. I work at a college, but no good candidates existed. About 5 of my friends had been successful in finding significant others through Match.com, but up until that point I had not been ready for rejection on such a global level as I imagined one could experience putting oneself out there for all to view and not contact.

Eventually I was ready. I went to my friend Jen's house. Jen had found Dave on Match and was very happy. Our friend Kerry had found John. So Jen I and the other Michele (who had not at that time had any success finding her soul mate on any of the dating sites and she had tried them ALL) broke open a bottle of wine and wrote my profile. Then that weekend Jen came over and took some pictures of me so I had current, realistic pictures of me. I believe in truth in advertising. Almost. I listed myself as divorced instead of separated. Jen recommended this because men would be afraid of getting to know me if there was a chance I might reunite with the ex.

Once my profile was posted I spent two weeks feeling like a complete loser. I contacted guys, and either got no response or no thank you's. A few guys contacted me. Here is the weird thing - I was 39 when I went on Match. I listed my age preference for men from 36 - 50. Not one but THREE men over the age of 50 who were special education teachers contacted me. Who knew that was a cohort to which you could appeal. Then the fateful day came when I heard the BING from the computer indicating I had gotten an email. The email was from The Bob. I went to his profile. He had taken his own pictures, so one of them was of half of his face. But he was cute, and his profile indicated he was a dad, wasn't necessarily looking to have more kids, didn't smoke (deal breaker for me if you do) and a runner. A runner? Sigh. I am so NOT a runner. Was he one of those fanatical runners? As it turns out he is not fanatical, he just likes to run. He has done triathlons, but doesn't force the whole running thing on others.

We exchanged emails, then talked on the phone, then I was thinking we would meet for drinks, and he went for the kill and suggested dinner. We met and it was like I had known him my whole life. He was comfortable to be with, like that sweatshirt you always put on when you want to be cozy. I think we saw each other every day for the next few days and pretty soon I took my profile off Match and was done looking. I never went on any other dates, and now we are married. And have a child and three dogs together. And it is great.

The July before I met him, the month after my ex moved to AZ, I was in New Orleans for a conference. I know, New Orleans in JULY? Yes it is hot, yes it smells funny, but it was an interesting trip. Great food and one psychic lady who read my palms in some square one afternoon who predicted The Bob. I went there with a friend, and picked this lady at random to do a reading. She was this tiny, wrinkled lady of indiscriminate origin. She might have been black, Hispanic, or some combination of a lot of things. She looked in my palms and said I had suffered a great loss, felt a deep sense of betrayal. TRUE! She said I would meet someone new, someone tall with dark hair (yes, the tall dark and handsome man we all hope to meet) who is a family man, who will be The One. I would meet him after the new year. I would feel like I knew him. And we would have a long, happy life together. I completely forgot about all of that until one day after I had begun dating The Bob, my friend who had been with me during the reading said "He's the guy! Madame whatshername predicted him!" and I was all "Holy Cosmic Boyfriend Predictions you are RIGHT".

Psychic palm reading predictions aside, he is the best guy I know, and is the best dad I have known. I can't think of anyone else I would like to spend the rest of my life with as a partner and friend. Happy Anniversary Bob. I love you.

2 comments:

Audubon Ron said...

I met my love on Udate. We talked on the phone for a month. She flew out, three days later we were married. Three days after that we got in a huge fight that lasted two years. We’ve been married 7 years now.

It’s Jackson Square in New Orleans. While I lived in CA 25 years, I was raised in New Orleans and now love an hour away.

Marriage is work.

Happy Anniversary

Shirley said...

Interesting story..! Well, I too met with my dream girl through Match.com.