Monday, October 6, 2008

An introduction and an observation

First things first - an introduction. On my bloggy love roll, you should find a link to MAD Man, the blog just started by my brother. There are so many things I could say about that dude, mostly good too. He doesn't hear those things enough, so here goes: He is HANDSOME (and yes, it is totally okay for a sister to say that about her brother), incredibly smart (probably more than is actually good for him), very very very very very funny (so many hours staying up laughing, watching movies, or laughing at the dinner table to the point where mom couldn't breathe and dad would get pissed because he had NO idea what was going on), a great dad to his two teen aged kids, and talented in ways he is always finding out. He just painted his house, and in the process of repairing some of the siding, was asked by a neighbor how he knew how to do that. I quote "Don't mistake my willingness to do something with having a clue as to WHAT I am doing." And yet he does it.

On the flip side he is someone who, if these things can be said about people and believed to be true, was born under a really dark star. He has some crappy karma. He has multiple degrees, but no solid career, although that is not for the lack of trying! He manages to find the most psychotic people to have as a boss and then suffers for that. Sometimes his intelligence, his ability to think his way through a problem so quickly to a solid resolution, comes in direct conflict with his ever so slight lack of diplomacy. Yes, I said it - you need to work on your people skills, Dr. Phil. See, he wants to be a therapist. And he would be a good one. A great one. But every so often he gets caught by the machinery, the bureaucracy, and because stupidity is not something he suffers lightly, he rails at the system and the system kicks him in the ass.

But I do believe that he will prevail someday, and the world will be better for having him out there helping the crazy people. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and realized I hated being in direct contact with all that insanity. They don't get better, most of them. Most of them manage, maintain. I am a results oriented gal, I need to see the problem, find a solution, implement the solution and MOVE ON.

Anyway, read his blog, give him some comment love.

Now for my observation. This could be an entry unto itself. I knew this would happen it happens to everyone who has a family. Now that my child is older, and we are spending more time indoors since the weather is returning, I am finding myself, well, NOT by myself much. There is no privacy in a marriage and family. When Cooper is awake, if I go into the bathroom, he is outside banging on the door. No matter what I am doing in the house, someone, the Bob, Cooper, a dog or three, is with me wanting to know what I am doing. While to me it might seem obvious I am washing dishes, the question is asked. If I am cooking there are dogs under foot all the time. If I am blogging, I am asked what I am blogging about. I LOVE YOU the Bob, I LOVE YOU COOPER, but sometimes I just want to do something without someone asking me what I am doing. I might want to do it, ALONE. We went shopping this weekend, with the intent of buying Cooper some winter stuff, and me some shoes. Cooper in a shoe store is a BAAAAD idea. So I went in alone, and they hung out in the car. Which was fine, but then I had this sense of "I better not take too long or there might be a nuclear explosion where our car used to be". As it was he had a meltdown in a Bob's Store and we left with one pair of shoes for him, one sweater for me and a very expensive miniature soccer ball that kept him mostly quiet.

This is the complete opposite from my first marriage. There were the two of us and two cats. No kids. The cats were probably the noisiest creatures in the house. The ex was a grumpy, solitary person, who spent most of his time skulking in the back room on the computer, avoiding human contact. This was not the recipe for a successful, happy marriage, and consequently, it ended. Not acrimoniously, but much like it existed, quietly without any hullaballoo. But it was the exact opposite of what I have now, which is a boisterous, noisy home full of people and animals. It isn't a BAD thing, it is a GREAT thing, but it is different. I am, according the Myers-Briggs personality inventory, an INFJ, although I have my moments of crossing into ENFJ. In either case, I need my own quiet time to recharge, to work through issues I might be having at work, whatever. So I may have to work out how that is going to happen. I may be walking the dogs a lot more over the winter, by myself.

And yes, I think the Bob is aware of most of this. We have had this conversation in the past, but we process differently, and sometimes those who process more quietly need to reiterate that they need that quiet. So I will do so in person later. But what the heck am I going to do all winter???


Dproudmama said...

Such a talented family! Alone time will be precious.

Chip said...

Um... scotch works well. For you that is.