I Are Booper

Yesterday evening our neighbors were out with their two boys, Ty who is 4 and Liam who is 2. Liam is 2 months younger than Cooper, and they have begun forming what I hope is a long standing bond. Cooper has discovered he likes to make people laugh, and Liam is an obliging audience. The video is evidence of this. They make up the silliest games, like saying "achoooo" while jumping into Liam's driveway and running to touch the wall on the other side. Or running around the tree in our front yard with the training wheels that were taken off of Ty's bike for the first time last night, laughing and screeching. I would also point out that Liam wins the contest for the whitest person to ever walk the planet. We thought Cooper was in contention for that award, but once you see him next to Liam, the contest is over.

And yes, Ty gave it a go without training wheels. He did a pretty good job, although I would suggest he get a little bigger bike soon. I didn't get it on video, but he even took off on his own once. As with many things that involve skill, the moment he stopped thinking so hard and being worried about falling, he was rolling down the street like a pro. You could see the moment his brain registered "UH, dude, we are moving along WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS" because his head would come up slightly, his eyes would get this panicked look and the handle bars would suddenly wobble and he would put on the brakes and tip over. But he was so proud of himself. As he should be. Ty is a big fan of Spider Man and of wearing pajamas. That is why he is out in the street in his Spider Man pj's. Some battles are just not worth fighting. Getting the kid out of pj's to ride his bike is one of them. He wears them just like he would regular clothes, with underwear and everything. Just in case you thought he was without some sense of propriety.

There was one breakthrough moment for Cooper, which again, I didn't get on video, where he turned to me from playing with Liam and announced with a slap on his chest "I are Booper!" This is quite the cognitive moment for kids his age. They often can tell you their name in response to the question "What is your name" but it is a whole new level of processing to say "I am so and so". It seems like every day there is a new thing he says or does that is a signal that a new synapse formed and connections are being made. It is amazing, frightening and gratifying.

Now if it would please actually become summer here, so I could use the pool. It has been raining and in the 60s for over a week now. The pool filter is fixed and working and the water is clear and mocking me. Maybe in July. Sigh.

Activism vs. Terrorism

I am not an activist. Or should I say I have not been in that overt, in your face kind of way where people stand on street corners with signs or work for a political or social or religious movement. I like the idea of demonstrating my belief system by how I live my life.

For example, for as long as I can remember, I have believed in a higher power. Through my childhood experience of going to church I learned to call that higher power God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. But the initial acknowledgement that I can recall came at a very early age - sometime around the age of 5 - 7 years old because we were still living in our first house in Enfield CT and my brother had been born. We were in the rooms that my father and our neighbor built on the second floor of that house because we were at the point that we were old enough to have our own rooms. I remember distinctly thinking that there was something bigger than me, outside of me, that was there, present in my life watching over me. And throughout my life I have had enough experiences that support that feeling to continue to believe.

In high school I was very active in our church and the youth group, and ultimately went to a Christian college. It was a very conservative college, being of the Reformed Presbyterian tradition - they don't believe in drinking, smoking, using instruments other than the voice in church. Very Footloose. During those years my belief system was challenged and honed.

But through all of my church related experiences, I was not the one who was out evangelizing to the non-believers. I stand pretty firmly in the conviction that everyone needs to find their own path to their understanding of God or Goddess or higher power of their choosing. I cannot stand here and tell you I am absolutely right about almost anything, much less God. No one really knows my position on religion or politics or the designated hitter rule unless they ask or it somehow comes up in conversation.

Extremism in anything makes me uncomfortable. I like balance. I also like honor and integrity. I have problems with extreme acts that are done in the name of "God". The murder of Dr. George Tiller is a good example. He was a doctor who provided abortion services. I don't care if you agree with abortion or not, I think we can all agree that killing a man, IN CHURCH, is just wrong. Killing in the name of God is wrong. I recognize that some people feel that abortion is as much an attack on the unborn fetus, is in fact murder, as any attack against a full grown adult, but taking a life in order to make your point is wrong. It is hypocritical. It is terrorism.

There are a lot of things I can't deal with in terms of organized religion. I will not go to church if I hear bigotry, chauvinism, racism, any kind of intolerance being preached from the pulpit or being exhibited by the members. There is no room for hatred and intolerance in Gods house, whatever house that might be - church, synagogue, mosque, temple, big open field full of sunflowers. We all need to work harder at loving in spite of our differences, BECAUSE of our differences, and embracing each other for the gifts we bring to this life. Stand for what you believe, live it every day, but stop hurting those who don't agree with you. Learn to understand them, to accept them and maybe we can move forward as a community. A big world wide community.

Keeping things in perspective

Right. So it does kind of suck for Bob not to have a job right now, but there are worse things. Like CANCER. Two people on my blog roll are dealing with it right now. One I know personally - Tammy from FoodontheFood who is my neighbor in addition to being a ridiculously funny and talented woman. She is also the mother of two little boys and she has breast cancer. She is 37 years old. She is being very funny and brave about it on her blog but WOW does it really stink that she is dealing with this. And there is no history of it in her family. She is having a mastectomy this week. Fortunately her family is relatively close by and available to be of assistance. But we are also all here for her. As I have told her 435 times since I found out about her diagnosis.

Then there is A. Scott White's wife. Scott writes the blog Caveat Emptor. I don't actually KNOW Scott, or his lovely wife, but she is dealing with cancer of the esophagus. And I guess this is not her first round with the evil disease. He has been blogging about it and comments on it on his FaceBook page.

And then there is my other neighbor's mother, who is in her 60s and was diagnosed in November with breast cancer. She had treatment and is doing really well. We were talking about it last week through the fence as she was babysitting the boys.

But seriously. I will take a loss of a job over dealing with cancer any day. Having Cooper in my life has had a not unexpected effect on my thoughts on death. I am not afraid of dying, I never really have been. I have always had strong feelings about HOW I might die, because there are methods of leaving this life that I would rather not experience. But dying is not the issue. Now the issue is who is left behind. I have known people who lost one or both parents while still young, and that is NOT FUN. They say women who lose their mothers at an early age measure their lives by that moment in time - and once they reach the age the mother was when she died, it can be very difficult because now the child is forging ahead in life with no example to look to. They are now treading ground that their mother never did and it is hard to move forward. We consciously and unconsciously look at our mothers' lives for examples of how to do, or not do, things.

I am fortunate. My mother is still among the living, as is her mother. I have boat loads of life examples to look to. I have been well prepared for my own experiences as a parent, as a person. I will admit the examples have sometimes left me saying "Well, I will try to do THAT differently" but even that has its purpose in life. They are strong and great women and I am grateful for them.

But I don't even like to think about what it would be like for Cooper to have to forge ahead in life without one of his parents. And I am praying that Tammy's and Scott's children will have a long life ahead growing and learning from and about their respective mothers.

The milestones keep on coming

This weekend we converted Cooper's crib to a toddler bed. He is not one of those kids who was climbing out of his crib, quite the opposite. He was quite happy to sit in that crib and call for us. Unlike our neighbor, Liam, who is quite the acrobat. But Cooper no longer fits in a pack and play, and we would like to be able to travel without worrying what he would sleep in. So we bought a bed rail and converted the crib yesterday before his nap. And so far so good. He didn't question at all the new arrangement. After his nap he stayed in bed and called for us, and when I got up there I took the rail down and sat on his bed with him, which he LOVED. He was so happy to have me sitting there he couldn't give me his stuffed animals fast enough.

Bedtime was the same. He didn't seem to care at all that the rail was there, and went right to sleep. Today has gone the same way. He calls for us and stays in bed. My main concern was he would get out of bed, which he totally can now, and would get out of his room and fall down the stairs. We moved the gate from the top of the stairs awhile ago. Because of the arrangement at the top of the stairs, it is hard to find a gate that fits. So we decided to go with a gate on his bedroom door. Even if he gets the door open, the gate is there. So I am hoping this works out. He can go up and down the stairs, but he is very unstable on the way down still.

The other exciting thing that happened this weekend is Cooper received a little wheelbarrow from our friend TR.





Suffice to say it was a hit.

Then we went to the farm again today. It was one of those "circle of life" days at the farm. First we discovered a chicken that seemed to shuffle off this mortal coil right there in the chicken house, then at the pig barn the sow, Harriet, was being inseminated. Poor her. But that certainly seems easier than actually having relations with a 900 lb boar. No one else seemed to notice that there was a dead chicken, so we alerted the authorities on our way out of the farm. I hope it was a case of old age and not bird flu. As it is we got the email that alerted us to students exhibiting signs of the flu at day care. Whoopee.

Graduation 2009 Festivities

Bob and Nick


After graduation mob scene


Worcester North HS Class of 2009

I don't talk about them much, but I have two step sons, curteousy of Bob. The oldest is Alex, who is 20, and the other is Nick, who is 18 and just graduated from high school last night. He is officially a member of the Worcester North High School, Class of 2009.

They don't hold the ceremonies at the high school, but at the DCU Center in downtown Worcester. It was a mob scene during and after the ceremony. We sat in the back half of the auditorium, and this provided for being vastly entertained and annoyed all at the same time.

Worcester is the second largest city in New England, according to the mayor who spoke during the ceremony. It is a very diverse and multi cultural community. I asked Nick afterward exactly how many languages were spoken by the students in his high school. "A lot" was his response.

What was annoying about the experience, for this child of somewhat reserved Yankees, who learned by going to church every Sunday that you sit quietly and pay attention (mostly) at organized events; NOT walk around all the time, talk, yell, laugh and generally carry on during events. There was this one guy who kept getting up from his seat way up front who would walk to the back of the auditorium, yelling on his cell phone the entire time he walked through the audience. Then there was the guy who wanted to stand the whole time, fine, but not in the middle of the aisle half way up in the audience so that many people behind you can't see what is going on. At one point the mayor was speaking and EVERYONE except Bob and I in the back half of the audience was talking.

But my favorite part of the evening was watching the outfits. Everything from shorts and t-shirts to suits and ties and fancy dresses and high heels. The woman below though, she won the prize for Fashion Statement of Night. A lot of thought went into this outfit. Black textured tights, teal short shorts, coordinating teal and white top, big white patent leather bag, and odd beige and white flats.



In other news, here are pictures of my newly painted living room colors. I tried to capture them so you could get a sense of the color, not the room as a whole. And the peonies from my yard that Cooper helped me pick this morning.


Sunshower yellow and Fostoria Glass


Peonies, mosaic by me and yellow wall


One of my favorite paintings by Jamie Wyeth, Iris At Sea

Awkward social moments

Have you ever been in the situation where you realize that something has happened that might warrant you doing or saying something to someone else, but by the time you realize you should be doing that thing, too much time has passed for you to reasonably do it, and not look like a lunatic who has put too much thought into that thing and now is obviously trying to cover some social faux pas that only exists in your head?

Like right now. My work study student sits right outside my office. She can hear me typing and probably thinks I am writing some email. I was deep in a project a few minutes ago, so I wasn't fully present and paying attention when she sneezed. Normal polite social protocol warrants a "Bless you" to be said by another person if said person were paying attention and within earshot of the sneeze. By the time my brain registered she had sneezed, and I thought out whether I should still say "bless you", way too much time had passed. And now she is probably sitting there thinking, "She totally heard me sneeze, and didn't say 'bless you'. She is a bad person and I am going to remember this slight and some day when she needs to be blessed I am so not doing it."

But too much time had passed. And she is wearing hot pink underwear under a white linen skirt. What does polite social protocol say about THAT? I don't even know. She is a very nice person, knows the alphabet (a critical skill to working in this office yet not one that you should take for granted a college student actually HAS) and answers the phone politely. Yet she seems to a) be lacking any sort of sense of humor and b) is wearing hot pink underwear under a white skirt. Does she seriously not know we can see the underwear? Should I mention it? That is such a dilemma. I think I will wait it out and see what the rest of the summer wardrobe looks like. Maybe it is a fluke. If not, I guess I will point it out. If I don't, my boss who would have all work study students in full dress suits like the Von Trapp kids before Maria came along will say something, and that ends up with people crying. Not me, other people. Other more gentle and humorless people.

And on a completely different note, the other night I was giving Cooper his bath, during which he turned over on his stomach, stuck his butt in the air and while pointing with his hand at his butt commanded "Pinch my buttocks." WHAT the WHO? In a disclosure that borders on TMI, the Bob is known to walk around the house announcing he is going to pinch someones BUTT: mine, Cooper's, it's his thing. But no one has been using the word buttocks. So while it would not be all that surprising for Cooper to say something like "Pinch my butt" because he thinks that is a hilarious thing to do, but it is VERY surprising for him to use "buttocks." And he repeated it. Bob stuck his head in the bathroom when I started laughing uproariously, and I told Cooper to say it again. "Pinch my buttocks" he announced proudly. And so we did.

Do chocolate chip cookies qualify as a balanced meal?

Hmmm, dairy (butter) CHECK. Protein (eggs and enriched flour!) CHECK. Vegetable...vegetable...nope, no vegetables in chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate is made from the cocoa bean, so MAYBE I can pull off calling it a legume...

Nope. Chocolate chip cookies, homemade at that, are not a balanced meal, however, boy howdy are they are great mood enhancer. Followed by a large vat of coffee, one dose of Claritin and I might just survive this pollen infused day we call Tuesday.

I took yesterday off and continued the painting project in the living room with the Bob. The yellow went up last week, but touch ups were needed around the edges to completely remove any vestiges of the burgundy/maroon that were peeking through. That was my job. Meanwhile, Bob applied the stunningly beautiful gray/blue color Glidden calls Fostoria Glass. It is so pretty. I don't think pictures will do it justice, but once all the blue tape is removed from the walls I will take some and post them.

Which makes me ask - to tape or not tape? I am a NOT taper. I hate using that stuff. It takes forever to get up there neatly and it still doesn't prevent you from having to go back and cut in and touch up around the edges. Bob loves the tape. Well, love might be a strong word. He prefers to paint with it as opposed to without. So if he wants to spend all that time applying it, I guess that is his business.

We need to apply one more coat to a few walls, but once that is done, it will be on to the next room - the dining room.

And we have a lone carpenter bee burrowing into the roof of our front porch again. Last year this happened and the bug guy said "I have never seen just ONE carpenter bee" and yet there it was, one bee. No other signs of infestation anywhere on the house. So this year we are dealing with it ourselves. A little bee spray and some caulk and no more bee. If it weren't so damaging to the property I would let the bee be. But they burrow and nest and they can really do a job on your house. So the bee must go. And I guess I will go eat a yogurt now, for balance.